The Joy Of It All

We spend so much of our life planning, expecting, hoping, dreaming, plotting, waiting…etc. It seems so rational. Preparation feels so safe. It’s the equivalent of an adult blankie. We feel better with those plans knowing at any moment that life can throw a curveball and all of those plans can go to waste. I’ll admit that I’ve had more than my share of adult blankies disguised as a plan. Some have attributed to success while others have ended up balled up and launched at trash cans with a beautiful arch (make or miss). The ones that aided in triumph were hardly ever followed to the T. They were loose guidelines and options that fluidly changed as the one dimensional words or drawings became 3D, came to life with real life consequences. Now, I’ve never regretted making a plan. Making them forces us, in a way, to evaluate options and to move more confidently throughout our lives with direction and purpose. The problems arise when we lose flexibility and stay tied to plans despite the life changing events that may occur.

Well, I’m here to share that over the past few months I’ve been thrown a few curveballs. Some, I’m proud to say that I was able to read and react to, while others came so fast and so unexpectedly that I’m still figuring out how to feel about them. I normally choose to write in storms. It’s my therapy and where the truest part of me pours. Right now I’m just excited to see what’s on the other side of this page.

In October 2023 I went to the Emergency Room with abdominal pain with flu like symptoms. It was determined at that time that I had a ruptured appendix. The next morning I was on the surgery table for the first time in my life. Once released from the hospital four days later, I figured it was the end of that chapter, but the universe had other plans.

A week later, I was called into the surgeons office to be told that they found cancer in my appendix. This was shocking to say the least. After a battery of tests I’ve now been scheduled for a second surgery that is scheduled to take place next week.

When I first heard the news that I was diagnosed with cancer, my wife was by my side. I did what I could to lighten the mood by saying that in my next race I’d be able to wear one of those cool “Survivor” shirts. I’m thankful that my optimism didn’t fail me when I needed it most.

Running regiments rest comfortably on the back burner of my life on a slow simmer. Honestly, my time investment for this business (APG) rests on the adjacent eye, but some of the best food you’ll ever taste are dishes that require a patient chef.

I don’t rush life. I remain focused on the goal in belief that my focus attracts it. I work with what I have every given day and celebrate the small victories. I believe that the important victories happen in the steps to reach your goals which is why I appreciate documenting it as I learn.

I wasn’t always this way. I used to be impatient, narrowly focused on the destinations I longed to reach and neglecting everything else until it was achieved. We’re talking sleepless nights for weeks level of commitment. Life, in several ways, has taught me to recalibrate. To enjoy the balance of it all. The chase of the goal peppered with the finer aspects of life like family, careers, life changing events, golf rounds full of slices and drinks with friends.

Plans are great. I still have copies of most of my workout plans from my track & field days from twenty years ago. What I discovered later in life when I became a track & field coach myself is that the workout plans adjusted to fit circumstances. Examples of this include: injuries, sickness, school/work load, weather, home life, finance issues, the list goes on.

As adults, traveling through this journey mapless, with no more than a compass of truth, lessons learned from past experiences and faith, we must celebrate because we’ve made it to now. All plans moving forward must include: keep doing whatever brought you this far and keep making more “nows”. Appreciate them for what they are and look forward to the next one. That is the joy of it all. That is the reason for our existence and our key to us furthering ourselves as a species on this earth. It seems big, but it’s comprised of little steps and small decisions that factor in more than our immediate wants.

A few years ago at an open mic event in Vallejo, CA I learned about an ancient teaching of the Iroquois people about the Seventh Generation Principle. The principle simplified is about making every decision of your life by factoring in how it will affect seven generations after you. This concept was profound to me. It widened my scope of existence and helped me to see beyond “the now”.

Life is bigger than us. It existed before us and will continue long after we are gone. While we reach for our goals, the universe continues to spin. We can try as hard as we want to control it but our attempts will often be futile. I believe that we are vessels with the sole responsibility of preparing ourselves to hold the blessings that God has for us and to weather the storms along the journey.

After surgery, I am excited to resume training for my next marathon, qualifying for the Boston Marathon and taking my family across the country to join me in the celebration of surviving, growing and accomplishing what was once just a dream. The journey to this point hasn’t been an easy one and the ones ahead of me aren’t either, but easy isn’t what I signed up for. When you commit to your goals or your purpose, you are committing to the entire package, good or bad. I’m thankful for it all. I’m grateful for it all. I’ve found the joy of it all.

See you on the other side of the mountain.